Getting Your Ex Back – Advice For Women

Get Back Together!

You want to know how to get your ex back? Good. You’re in the right place, because we have some great relationship advice about how you can get your ex boyfriend back. 

Is There Hope?

Deep down inside you may be sensing that your relationship isn’t really over, in which case there’s work to be done so you can find out how to get back together with your ex boyfriend and enjoy life together.

With that in mind, what do you do next?

1 Be Honest About Why Things Ended

At some point in your attempts to discover how to get your ex back, you may find out some hard truths about how and why your relationship ended.

If your ex starts reminding you of these things, and you believe they’re valid, don’t try and dispute them, defend them, explain them or anything else. Just acknowledge the honest truth. It’s better to be truthful and honest than to live in a bubble of self-deception and wanting to be right.

A lot of people pay a high price in their relationship by wanting to be right, or in control, all the time: the price is that the relationship mysteriously breaks up!

But the truth is there’s nothing mysterious about this at all. If you can’t make compromises between your need to be right and the need to preserve your relationship, then perhaps you need to learn to love yourself more than you do at the moment.

You see, wanting to be right is about ego, while wanting to be loved comes from the heart. And the heart is much more important. (That’s why you need to know how to get your ex back, surely – because you love him?)

2 You Can’t Convince Him To Come Back

Or rather, perhaps you can. Perhaps you can browbeat him into returning, so you don’t break up once and for all. But the truth is that to get back together with your ex you need to be happy, confident, and let your energy shine. The  very worst reason for getting back together is because you are needy and dependent. (Refer to 1 above!)

3 Take Responsibility For Your Role In The Breakup

Deep down, you probably know that some things that you’ve done, some attitudes you hold, some beliefs you express, some behaviors you regularly display, have contributed in some way to the breakup.

Of course it’s easier to blame other people than take responsibility, but it’s also really unfair if you’re focusing only on what your ex might have done to bring your relationship to an end.

In reality, if you want to know how to get our ex boyfriend back, the answer is: be honest about yourself, your strengths and weaknesses.

For example, do you have trust issues? Do you have commitment issues? Do you allow your man enough space of his own? Do you understand what men’s needs and wishes are, or do you expect him to be exactly like you? Do you expect him to meet all your needs and wishes?

Like we said above, relationships require compromise, and demonstrating your trust, confidence, and indeed your love for your man are absolutely essential.

And in case you don’t know the “real deal” would be that you respect him, and he cherishes you. Those are the two of the most fundamental needs of men and women in relationships respectively – to be respected (men) and to be cherished above all else (women).

4 Be Positive

Research has shown that for every negative exchange between two partners in a relationship, and that includes husband-and-wife, as well as boyfriend and girlfriend, there have to be at least five positive exchanges for the relationship to last. (Original research. And here.)

If there aren’t 5 positives to every negative, the relationship is almost certain to fail.

So let me ask you a question.

How often do you praise your partner, or express positive emotions and sentiments, compared to how often you criticize or express negative feelings?

It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of pointing out your partner’s failings, particularly if you have unspoken frustration and resentment bubbling away inside you.

But the solution here is to engage in honest and open communication, not to sweep problems under the carpet, let them fester, and then explode in a tirade where you feel compelled to point out your boyfriend’s numerous failings.

Learning to accept your man as he is and not complain about his habits may be the biggest step you can make towards discovering how to get your ex back and live happily with him when you do.

5 Respect His Masculinity

Men are problem solvers, and they love the satisfaction and fulfilment they get from feeling competent at solving problems.

That’s why he wants to fix you and your problems, when all you want to do is to talk about them.

Video – talk or fix? Watch it!

This is one of the most fundamental differences between men and women, and it can be fatal to a relationship.

But here’s the reality: men and women are different.

Sure, you say, we all know that….. but how many of us actually act on that knowledge and allow for those differences within a relationship?

And when you think about it, expecting a man to be more like a woman really means you as a woman are not confident enough in your own gender or your own sexuality. This means you can’t accept that your partner’s way of being in the world is inevitably going to be different. This is definitely something which needs to be worked on in most relationships.

Continued here.